Some leave their heart in San Francisco. In The Philippines, I abandoned my bike in San Francisco. It’s about as far away from cack hole Manilla, as you can fly, ferry, and ride, in a few days visit.

I had no preconceived ideas about the Philippines beyond the usual stereotypes. The reality of some of the stereotypes hit me barrage of guns, blood and sex.

It’s not a pretty sight, Manilla, even for the most hardened of travellers, like myself after 350 days on the road. But kind like the kids swimming in sea water and shit that stinks from 400m back, I could find some entertainment in Manilla. Remind me to make any yachting stay over at Manila yacht club as brief as possible, for fear of death from (04) 1832-4874aromatic fecal poisoning. Sure to form, the US has left its imperialist calling card in Manilla, with rampant prostitution, gun mad mentality, and a rich, corrupt and permanent rulership, that serves its self lavishly, whilst impoverishing its populace. The Economic Hitmen like Perkins sure did a masterful job in fucking the poor Philippines. I have a social theory, now well developed after months in impoverished countries, that goes like this>> The more evil, greedy and corrupt the governance, the more tolerant, shiny and lovely the people. The Philippines is a classic example.

Sure, especially after Thailand, the Filipinos can’t cook, but hey, they can sing…in fact they are the most musical mob I’ve met. If you can’t sing, or play a musical instrument in the Philippines, you are a foreigner.

And you ain’t experienced the Philippines, as Lonely Planet suggests, unless you have drunk the cheap local suds, and slaughtered a tune or two at the local karaoke bar. I complied. But I went one further. I did the Sound of Music in helmets. What the?…you may ask.

Well, a cute singing and dance instructor called Ella Marie  decided to hijack my  life for a few days, and off we sailed, by scooter, to a few hundred beachside miles, of Gloria Gaynor hits, like, ‘You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off’ a you…”.

I, on the other hand, could take my eyes off the road, even though I was theoretically driving. You don’t have a back seat on bike as far away from the handlebars as you may think. And as Ella could ride as well as sing, and, well, ah, she just took over the driving (and singing ) bit, from the back seat. Technical types might note…. the scooter had no foot pedals, it was automatic. So down the coconut lined villages of southern Cebu and Negros we rode, half the time me driving, half the time the back seat in control,  hands under my arms, and much of the time, singing along like right idiots, in helmets. Or one helmet, at least.

I might add, Ella certainly did not slaughter a song. Infact, at any of the several karaoke bars we dropped in at, Ella slaughtered only competing singers. She was a pro. And, added to that, as a dance instructor,was  given to 3 second pole dancing hints, that showed who was in charge. Read the rest of this entry »

Fullmoon parties, pool parties, foam parties, black moon and half moon parties, reggae parties….anyone would think Koh Phangan in Thailand had something to do with parties.  They have a beach party on the fullmoon each month, that is indeed a bit of an international phenomena, and at the same time, same, same.

By coincidence, […]

wwdouble you DUBAI.

It’s a phenomenon of the times. It’s extraordinary in the extremes of all that is good, and all that is bad.

It’s Dubai, or more accurately, it’s the UAE.  40C to 50C of camel depressing desert, which back in the ‘60s, hosted a few Arabs in boats, when up from the depths […]

 
So, what else can you find in the world, since the Berlin wall came down?
They say you can island hop from Greece to Turkey. So I caught the ferry from Mykonos to Samos, a Greek island, just 3k from Turkey. The Greeks have virtual ocean liners for ferries, most ‘70’s relics, from days before $50 […]

 I could be hanging around auditioning for a part in the remake of a SOUND OF MUSIC, lying here in grassy fields below the Alps, but unless Julie Andrews is replaced by a singing porn star,  and unless I get back on track, the hills will likely never be alive with the sound […]

The LUCK OF THE IRISH …is contagious

The ferry that takes you from Wales to Ireland is kind of like a giant cafeteria bedeck with flatscreens and lower decks. All my preconceived ideas about the ferocioty of the Fastnet killing Irish sea, were laid to waste as the 3 hour crossing could have been across a […]

‘God save the Queen, Its a fascist regime’
S. Vicious.
The Sex Pistols 1975

‘Evening Sar…a, copy of the Daily Tele by any chance?’, twipped the ever so sweet, British Airways hostess, as I settled into a part of the jumbo I hadn’t paid for.  A tip here. Always be the last one onboard, and grab […]

The Disunited States of America

I’ve wondered, once personally settling on the analogy that LA is the mouth piece of America,  what then, is the equivalent body part for New York?
Is it the brains, or the sphincter? Maybe it’s the pineal, but with a bad blockage? I ain’t figured it. New Yorkers see it, […]

From shipwreck, to Lama head-on….from Caribbean, to Andes, from yachts to bikes. The is a lot more to the Americas, than America. I take up, where I left off, washed up in Cartegena, Colombia.
Cafe Havana. For me, that’s how Cartegena began, and, how Cartegena ended.  Bookmarks of character.
After the gruelling negotiations and […]

I’ve never been to South America before. Most people enter a new country through an airport ramp.
I swam.
Infact I almost made a habit of it.
My tales of the happy shiny San

Blas, are those below, but with some Laurence of Arabia script writing, let’s shift the end of this story to the beginning. Unlike […]